2017
The year I chose to invest in myself.
I always felt like I pretty much had my life sorted. I had a good job, loving family, supportive boyfriend, traveled often, did hobbies I enjoyed and I had a pretty good handle on my nutrition and exercise - yet I still felt like something was missing.
I felt like I should be happy but somehow being unhappy and moody (mostly to the people I loved) was becoming my norm. My biggest fear was looking back when I'm old and regretting my life and not appreciating what I had at the time. The scariest thing is - is that time goes fast. And we can't undo it. So what was I waiting for?
It was at this point that I made a decision that I would do as much as I can to help me help myself and get to a point where I truly felt content and happy. Not tomorrow. Not when I'm on a holiday in a month. Not when I have the perfect body. Like happy. Right. Now.
Coming to this decision and establishing this goal was the easy part. Implementing, however, not so much. I guess if it was that easy to make the switch we'd all be doing it and there would not be one miserable soul on this planet. But this is very much not the case. The reality is it takes time, challenges, defeat, growth to name a few.
I quickly learnt we should should always be a work in progress and making time for ourselves and personal growth is something that should never stop.
As I started this "journey" I came to realise that I was investing a lot of time and money working out my body, fueling my body with good food, maintaining my body with massages and treatment, but it never occurred to me that I actually spent no time on my mind and inner self. And with what I know now this is probably where we should all start!
The mind is the most powerful part of the body and if used in the wrong way can create more destruction than development. I was giving myself a lot of love on the outside but I didn't actually love myself on the inside. My self-talk was horrendous. Constantly pointing out my flaws. Beating myself up over things not done right. Feeling guilty for over indulging. Telling myself I'm stupid or clumsy or messy. Telling myself I'm not good enough. Telling myself that no-one liked me. Telling myself I'm boring. Our mind can tell us anything. It can quite literally create a story in our head and convince us of something that’s not true. And I’m sure that some of this self-talk sounds familiar to you to!
Training your brain to see things as they are takes time and practice and failure and more practice. I want mine to tell me that I can do anything. That I don't need validation. That I'm not an idiot. It is certainly not easy as our brains are wired to predict the worst. Heck posting this page was a massive challenge.
To set aside my fears and doubts and the judgment I will receive, but I feel this message is more important as I know I'm not alone. Your story may be different but your takeaways are the same.
I think it’s time we all started investing in ourselves.
