Dreaming of hikes and lakes and endless travel. That was the plan in my head when we decided to move to Canada. To uproot from our home, quit my job, leave my family and be out of my comfort zone. Living and being immersed in another country is something that I have always wanted to do. To say I had massive expectations is an understatement – thinking that everything would fall into place almost instantly.
On reflection the first month was a huge adjustment. It’s so hard, when you’re trying to be grateful for this opportunity and the amazing environment that you’re in, but on the inside feeling frustrated and sad and hoping that you have done the right thing. It’s so easy to think that there must be something wrong with you, especially when you’re not understanding why you’re being so emotional about EVERYTHING, that normally wouldn’t bother you.
Working jobs like I did when I was 18 on the minimum wage (which is ridiculously low compared to OZ), that I thought at 31, I would never have to do again, was the biggest adjustment. I was in such a stubborn mindset, thinking that I was better than this and that I didn’t NEED to learn anything new, which was the first problem. It took some time for me to get my head around the fact that we are not here for a career, literally making ends meet, to ensure that we have time to be able to explore this beautiful country and not get stuck back in that 9-5 grind (well 8-5 for me).
Another part of the problem was that it was so hard to not feel like you were being judged. Serving pizza and running around after customers, and them asking what I’m doing here and good on me for doing this, made me embarrassed and made me feel not good enough. It wasn’t until I spoke to a friend, that I realised, this is an awesome power to have. To be in another country and people know absolutely nothing about you and for them to make assumptions, because at the end of the day it says more about them than me. Also, what a great story to tell in years to come of all the random jobs I’ve done!
I'm now in a comfortable place and quite enjoy the work I'm doing. I can now look back see how far I have come and with that includes a huge amount of growth and learning. When there is so much change at one time you can easily underestimate the compounding impact this can have and then you beat yourself up because you don’t understand why you’re acting this way! I’m also embracing all these random skills that I’m developing, because it doesn’t take long before they start to feel normal and who knows when they will come in handy!
If you’re experiencing a lot of change at once. Be kind to yourself, know that it will take time, but it will pass and won’t be long before this becomes your new normal. Be open to the changes and even journal if this helps you to gather your thoughts.
Get grateful – regardless of the situation, there is always something you can be grateful for, even if it’s minor.
I feel lucky that I do this work and have like minded people around. Even if you're always trying to work on yourself it doesn't mean that life is always easy but when you share and talk about it you know you're not alone. If you can relate leave a comment.
Sending good vibes
Nikala X
Hiking to Pulpit Rock, Nelson, BC